Ideas for going green… entry number one:
Stop eating beans… and all veggies
Beans and veggies cause too much methane gas and tend to cause a ‘big stink’…
Shove a catalytic converter up my ass to reduce ’emissions’…
Eat plenty of corn on the cob…
Corn is the only food that can be recycled… It goes in and comes out the same, so eat your corn, poop it out, clean it and re-heat for that extra meal… Who knows just how far this could go… 🙂
Dress heavily in winter but don’t dress at all in summer 🙂
Don’t eat meat… I don’t know why this is important but ‘they’ tell me that eating meat is bad, so stop doing it.
Don’t drink beer… again too much gas… no garlic at all for the same reasons!
Once all forms of fossil fuel is illegal heat your home with your poop… dog poop, kitty poop or whatever s**t you might pick up on your shoes…
There should be plenty of poop everywhere since toilets will be illegal also… and remember NOT to use more than one tissue per poop…!!!
Save your belly button lint and knit a sweater…
Paint yourself ‘lime green’ and remember to paint your nipples ‘forrest green’! Balls will remain ‘blue’.
Stop buying CD’s and DVD’s because they are made from oil products and are bad bad bad!
Have your computer sent to a hazmat site because it contains ‘toxic’ materials… this has the added extra of saving electricity! 🙂 That is always a good thing.
Stop breathing because it causes CO2 and that causes ‘global warming/climate change’… If you insist on breathing inhale only! Never, ever, ever exhale that nasty CO2!
Save your urine… It might come in handy sometime 🙂
Hmmmm… maybe I need to rethink this stuff… w